I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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