You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
