You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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