You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
