remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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