with your own penis?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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