What a fucking waste of an outfit
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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