remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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