If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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