I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
