Dual....:-)
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
