you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
