tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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