I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
