you guys were way drunker than both of me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
