Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
