I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize