the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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