wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
