Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
