Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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