We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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