How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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