How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
