I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
