yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
