I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
