yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I party with great urgency now.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
