hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
