I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
