I'm gonna have a badass scar
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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