I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
