Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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