Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
