Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
