I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
