a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
