I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
