And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
