I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
this is an emotional support booty call
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize