Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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