would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
