Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
