dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
