My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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