The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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