it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
