Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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