I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
