Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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