I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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