She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
two words...techno handjob
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
