dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
