He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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