There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
