Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
