i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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