god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
