I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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